I'm On A Bus

Here are 13 rough pages of text for the book I'm currently working on about buses. To make the text I looked through old newspapers and when I saw a word I needed I cut it out and stuck it down, it's a very time consuming process but one I feel suits the content well. Given that many commuters and bus passengers read daily newspapers such as the METRO, I feel this is keeping of the everydayness and banality of bus journeys.

Meal For One

I've bought a pretty cheap ready meal from Heron Foods. I'm really looking forward to it because you seem to get a lot in it, you even get a free naan! On the back it says, "Joe hates to be hungry. His spicy chicken tikka balti is packed full of flavour & is sure to feed your hunger." As you'll agree this Joe fella is promising a lot, and that's exactly what I'm expecting after tucking into 'hungry Joe's Chicken Tikka Balti with Rice & Naan', a lot. To illustrate who Joe is and to prove that these people aren't fooling with you, you actually get to see Joe. Unlike Mr. Kipling, I've never seen his face. But we can see Joe on the back, with an apron with "Joe" written on it to show who he is, a man with an apron on that says "Joe" on it so we know he's Joe. He's also cooking a meal which doesn't look like the frozen one I've taken out of the packet. But as I said, I'm really looking forward to this and expected a lot from it so we won't hold that against him. Joe's never let me down and judging by his very tired face he looks as if he's made it a point in life not to let anybody else down either.

For The Love Of Oreos

The thing I like about Oreos is that they're black, well almost, black enough to satisfy me anyway. When I was a child for some unknown reason I was obsessed with the colour black, when given a picture to colour in I coloured it black. What this means psychologically I don't know, and I don't actually care. But I really like Oreos, yes they may taste like dirt and be expensive should you buy them from a place that doesn't sell cheap biscuits. But I like Oreos because when I was a child I really wanted there to be a black biscuit, darker than a Bourbon in colour because that just didn't cut it for me. However, Oreos fulfil my childhood need for a black biscuit and for that I am very happy. I'm Adam Lee Jones and that was my story.

Don't Be A Tit.

In regards to the woman who had a breast enlargement operation on the NHS: For the people who moan and winge about how their taxes paid for the operation, that a little girl was denied cancer treatment because of it (which is of course bollocks, and the fact that the Sun ran both articles side-by-side is proof of how low and callous the paper is; cancer treatment is also a hell of a lot more expensive than a breast operation, and after all the NHS is there to be used by the public as it is public-funded), who think that this woman is nothing short of the second coming of Hitler and barrage her with abuse because she used a service which was there to be used, and insulting her appearance with jibes such as "slut", "tramp", "she should have sorted her nose out", "she looks like she's been hit by a tram", "I hope her breasts explode" and "Go die". In all honesty she hasn't done anything wrong, far from it.

The thing at fault is not the government (this time), the woman who had the operation or the doctor who allowed it. The thing at fault is the culture that bred the thinking that if you have small breasts there is something wrong with you and nobody will love you, and that large breasts are something to aspire to. It's rich of the Sun newspaper to run a story like this when it's they who are the ones who have an institution such as Page 3 and contribute to this ramshackled clown shoe way of thinking. If you have small breasts you're not less of a person, you're not going to be undervalued by society, you are perfectly normal and beautiful, people come in all shapes and sizes and this is to be embraced by society, our differences are what make us who we are. Whatever the size of your breasts or however you look there isn't anything wrong with you and if somebody or something tells you there is then that is the thing at fault.

This "LAD" culture and the sexploitation of women is really fucking ridiculous, the fact that a woman feels insecure about her breast size because of it is horrible and wrong. If you buy into this culture, aspire to be a "glamour model", buy the Sun, support the degradation and exploitation of women you are part of this machine. What I'm saying is you should question things a whole lot more, look closer at the facts and harder at the evidence, educate yourselves and change your way of thinking. Love yourselves and be proud of who you are.